Contentment lies in our ability to remain equanimous. It is not that our life experiences are good or bad, it is our reactions to them that produce suffering. Santosa teaches us how to remain in the moment, regardless if that moment is pleasurable or uncomfortable. Equanimity means becoming aware of emotions, sensations, feelings and thoughts as they arise without trying to change or control the outcome. In this way, awareness becomes the seed of the witness, the observer. Santosa generates an unshakable internal stillness (nirodha), calmness, balance and peace.
This internal stillness will carry you through the planning stages of your wedding, as well as the actual event. Wedding planning provides numerous opportunities (from asking for financial help from family, to “hurting or not hurting feelings” when choosing bridesmaids and groomsmen, to compromising or not compromising on color schemes, music selections, food, etc) to observe when we slip into old patterns of reaction, shutting down, and judgment. Awareness is the first step in letting go, in allowing ourselves the space to feel without trying to change or control. When we fully allow ourselves to feel without attachment or resistance to emotions, we are more capable of moving through them from a place of peace and internal stillness, a place of trust and surrender. One way we can cultivate nirodha (internal stillness) is through grounding techniques . Grounding techniques help cultivate santosa as we learn to remain in the moment despite the outer environment.
Love & Light,